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GS... a quick glimpse

Tonight is one of those nights.  I work the evening shift tomorrow, so I am trying to stay up.  My boyfriend is out of town.  It's just me and my dog and a bottle of wine.  So I write...

About the physicians being human....  

Remember back to the first post when I mentioned the physician that encouraged me to write my stories?  He is the first person I told that I was actually writing.  Tonight was the first night I gave two friends the link to specific entries.  Anyway...

I can't sleep yet and I feel like writing.  I feel if I am to tell stories of the physicians and the moment I knew they were human, it was only right to start with the one who encouraged me to write... GS.

Anyone I work with will know who I am speaking of.  He is a veteran.  Navy.  Probably something prestigious with a lot of medals that I don't know about.  His son is a Navy pilot, his daughter is awesome and he has two grandchildren and a wife.  I'm pretty sure his granddaughter and daughter are two of his favorite people ever and their relationship he can't stop talking about.  Oh, yeah... and somewhere in there, he became a lawyer.  He's been doing this emergency thing for 30 years.

I didn't always know this about him.  Ten years ago, I was completely intimidated by him.  He didn't, and doesn't, wear scrubs.  He's a slacks, button down shirt, belt, loafers, no socks type of guy.  At first take, he's an arrogant jerk.  There were no jokes and, honestly, I thought he was an ass.  

Then room 16 happened.

I was still a fairly new nurse.  A two year old female in cardiac arrest was being brought in by medics.

WTF.  

Grandparents at the bedside.

So many nurses in the room with GS.

Grandma the picture of strength, grace and love.

You see, grandma and grandpa had custody.  Poor little one was a victim of shaken baby syndrome at the hands of her parents.  She had irreversible brain damage.  She had developmental and cognitive delays due to the injury.  She had a tracheotomy to breathe.  She was given to grandma and grandpa to live out a life of love for the rest of her days... and she did.

We want to save everyone.  As nurses, we were doing everything we had ever been trained to do for a pediatric cardiac arrest.  I saw tears falling from the much more seasoned nurses, but they never stopped doing their job.  At this point in my career, I didn't know it was ok to cry.

GS addressed the grandparents.  The facts were given.  The updates were given.  Everything we were doing to the baby was explained in plain simple language.  Nothing was hidden.  Nothing sugar-coated.  All explained in the most respectful manner by the physician in charge.  

Grandma then made the most difficult decision she will probably ever face in life.  Also the most humanitarian decision, given all of the factors.  As grandma wished, all emergency efforts ceased.  Grandma was going to let her baby go and be with the angels.  The baby was swaddled and handed to grandma.  Grandma talked to her lovingly and rocked her.  As if she was giving her soul directions to heaven.  

Nearly ten years ago.  I remember it vividly.  

GS had total control of that room.  The efforts made.  The decisions made.  There were no questions of what if; there were no regrets.  The nurses trusted him and witnessed the interaction with the grandparents.  The grandparents trusted him.  The staff cried.  The grandparents cried.  GS took care of all of them.

Emergency physicians don't study as hard as they do for a paycheck.
They do it for their love of humanity... at least the good ones.
It's not about speed.
It's not about metrics.
It's not about money.
It's about people.

I am happy to report that, after 10 years of working together, GS and I have a very awesome, honest, professional relationship.  He is not the intimidating jerk I thought he was at the beginning of my nursing days.  

I am fortunate enough to work with some very awesome, humbled, minimal ego, physicians.  Not only am I fortunate, but so are my APP (Advanced Practice Providers) colleagues.  Most importantly, their patients are getting years of experience and lifetimes of compassion when they see these physicians.


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